she sits crying in my room. with her messy red hair and a heavy jewelled hand clutching that wine glass a little too hard. i take a sip too and start to cry as well and before we know it we’re on a train to Oxford. i spring out of the door and kiss the ground when we arrive, laughing.

when i home back home she’s crying in my room again, the faint smell of her perfume intertwines before me with cigarettes and unwashed promises. we laugh and joke and cry some more in front of these threadbare curtains as the city outside rises and screams “WAKE UP” and i think about how many hours it was since i last had him in my bed.

i sit on the edge of the cliff with the sea & the end of the world beneath me, and it wouldn’t matter what language we were talking in because we’d still be able to understand each other.

i dream of love by day and him by night and our cries twist into a chorus of sorts and every time we kiss it makes me feel more sick and that is why i sit and cry over the fact that we love each other but we’re idiots, you and i.

i sit with you and concentrate on my breathing, nothing more. i smile haphazardly and the summer rain comes down again and the clock hits 8am and we haven’t slept for days. we make playlists that remind us of lovers and kisses both lost and stolen, but none of that matters because we both have each other.

(wrote this a while ago and just thought i would repost it)

the sky was a faded blue
a monochrome
my hand tucked the hair from my face that the wind was blowing around
the sun casting her rays nicely on my back
i turned to the house, where i could see you waving
waving and smiling
and so i smiled back, and inside, i felt warm 

two milks in my coffee
as the sun comes up
puffing on a cigarette
as the sky shows her secrets

love is wherever you are.

it’s on nights like these
when my insecurities hover around
and threaten to eat me alive
that i could do with a “you”
 

one last walk past your block
and i didn’t miss you anymore
and as steady as my feet hit the floor
my heart beats the same
walking past your door tells me nothing
except that times have changed 

sometimes my mind wanders
but never my hands 

we lay on our backs in the snow, the heavy formations of cloud fleeting over us. i watch as you poke out your tongue, catching absent-minded flakes in a sweet abyss.
“it’s like the sky is assembling an army” you say, as if in a dream.
and yet do you know that when your words unfold, my armies yield and dissolve. like the snow we’re laying on, spring soon brings new weather, new feelings - memories.
 

i fantasised about my ex-boyfriend on the windy walk home
ignoring the knots in my stomach
as my choice resounded
through the wind around me
and stopped me in my tracks 

your voice is a tide
and i can hear the words calling out
feel the waves falling down
like the sun

i’m scorched and i’m blind
you’re a goddess of the sun
because you light up my life
and everything in
it